Can you feel it in the air? Patriotism running rampant amongst the millions of would-be soccer haters who are hopping on the USA bandwagon and seizing the opportunity to express their hatred towards those who speak a different language. It's a beautifully powerful thing really, people's desire to be a part of something bigger than themselves. It's why fans will riot whether their team wins or loses, just so long as a car gets flipped, because you can't do it ALONE (especially if you keep skipping your leg days, bro). It's why fights have been started over equestrian dressage and other equally riveting Olympic events. It's why "my god could beat up your god" and why Obama could dunk on whoever your president may be. It's the reason why even if we're not clinging to much, if we just believe in something bigger, we can still call you a loser.
That's why it pains me to remind my fellow Americans that we're not clinging to much. Even if we get past those Nazi losers (patriotism) on Thursday, there's still the rest of the world waiting to get even for basketball being in the Olympics. Does being a pessimist make me a communist? Absolutely. But I refuse to start anymore of my beloved USA chants until after they get waxed in Brazil. And in a classic bait-and-switch maneuver, I will become the anti-me by saying something I've always found moronic yet patriotic: let's talk about REAL football (those foreigners couldn't even spell it right, do you play with your Fut? Real men play with their hanz...)
That's right, non-Packer fans-- I've suckered you into reading two paragraphs and counting of an article that's actually about the Green and Gold. And that's right casual Packer fans-- get ready to realize how much you don't know about how good this team is/stop reading pretty quick because that's why you're a casual fan. You see, while you've been snap-chatting your nip slips and tindering yourself into countless STD's, I have been scouring the earth for any piece of irrelevant Packer information. Did you know that former Packer receiver Kole Heckendorf was recently forced to jump from his brother's second story window when a plane crashed into their Minnesota home? Although that name may appear to be straight out of Harry Potter, I assure you I didn't make it up. My point is that I know too much of this team's future and if I don't share it with you, then none of it will come to fruition. I will attempt to break it down for you position by position, although some won't need much update from last year.
QB- Aaron Rodgers has been doing yoga and has a hot new famous girlfriend. Are the two related? Insert sexist yoga joke here (I had a few, in poor taste). But that's the main news from him, so my guess is that he's still the best QB in the league. Tolzien is still seen as the more physically talented of the backups, but has not surpassed Flynn on the depth chart due to Matt's familiarity with the offense. Bigger loser backup: Guy who can't get a job, or guy who can't get a high five?
RB- The Packers have not only one of the best young runners in the league in Eddie Lacy, but as much depth as I can ever remember at the position. Jonathan Franklin's story is a very sad one, the 4th rounder taken last year who showed some glimpses of potential but suffered a neck injury that may have ended his career. By all accounts, he is a class act who takes comfort in his spirituality. I was rooting for him, but he wasn't really competing for touches anymore. Starks has been re-signed to be the quality number two that he is. And let's not forget last year's starter before his injury (which was ultimately life-threatening) Dajuan Harris. The scrappy and shifty runner may not get a ton of touches if the others stay healthy, but is a great insurance policy if they don't. Plus they've given him some looks at returning kicks.
FB- KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN
WR- Would you believe that Rodgers said this is potentially the deepest group of receivers he's had yet? The same guy who had Nelson, Cobb, Jennings, Jones, Driver and Boykin in the same year. Well he did, and it's true. A pretty good receiver is going to end up getting cut by Green Bay because we can't keep 7 receivers on the roster, and signs are pointing to Chris Harper early on. A fourth round pick by Seattle last year, he was cut twice before signing with the Packers. He is a physical receiver who has been making plays in OTA's and shows promise. Unfortunately, there is too much promise in this year's draft picks to cut any of them. Rookie 2nd rounder Devonte Adams is going to fit in seamlessly and could one day be their best WR, but he will still likely be the 4th receiver behind Jordy, Cobb, and the incumbent Boykin who flashed at the end of the year. Fan-favorite Abbrederis will compete for some snaps, and can hopefully stay healthy enough to demonstrate his skills. He could also see some time at KR/PR. 7th rounder Jeff Janis really intrigues me; he is one of the most impressive physical specimen I've seen in a while, very comparable to Jordy although a little bigger, stronger and faster. Can he learn to run routes and have the same soft hands as Nelson? That's why he's a project, but one to be very optimistic about although he probably won't see much time this year.
TE- The boom or bust position. Without Finley, people view it as a position of weakness but I disagree. We have a lot of relative unknowns at the position. Quarless has some experience but doesn't inspire much optimism, I think we know what we're getting from him. The rest is up in the air, with Colt Lyerla showing as much talent as any of the draft. If you know any of his story, he is clearly a total head-case which is why he wasn't drafted. But cocaine can do that to a person. If you watch the highlights, it's hard to not be impressed. Lining up in the backfield, blowing by defenders or running them over; he's got the tools to be great. The comparison I like is Aaron Hernández, currently catching passes from Paul Crewe of the Mean Machine but formerly of the New England Belichecks. In college at Florida, he lined up all over the field and also did cocaine. Hopefully Green Bay can help him get things figured out, because he could be amazing. Richard Rodgers has been the big name heard in OTA's so far, with his soft hands and his ability to find openings in coverage. He may not have great speed, but that's not necessarily what being a tight-end is about. He lined up at receiver last year at Cal, which would immediately raise concerns about his blocking, but all other reports are that he is a natural in space and has caught everything thrown at him. Green Bay actually has 4 other TE's on the roster, the most notable being Brandon Bostick who has shown some flashes but zero consistency. Perhaps one of the others between Taylor, Stoneburner, and Perillo will make it based on blocking or special teams play but there is already plenty of youth to be excited about at this position with the oldest player being Ryan Taylor at age 26.
OL- I have been pleasantly surprised with the reports from this part of the team. I suppose it helps when no one has broken their leg yet this year, but there is actually some depth in case of injury. Bakhtiari turned a lot of heads last year at left tackle and seems to have locked that up with Sherrod there to back him up. Pro-Bowl left guard Josh Sutton isn't going anywhere. At center, last year's fourth round pick JC Tretter seems to be earning the trust of Mr. Rodgers, who is on his fifth different starter in as many years and is looking for consistency at this spot. He and this year's fifth round pick Corey Linsey out of Ohio St. will compete for that job, and should expect to hold it down for years to come. Right guard TJ Lang pairs with Sutton to give the Packers one of the best guard tandems in the league. And Bulaga is hopefully back and ready to hold down the right tackle position, and is considered to be an elite talent when healthy. Green bay also has Don Barclay on the bench who has experience at every position on the offensive line and provides much needed depth for an offensive line that has been destroyed by injuries in recent years.
The offense is of no concern to any Packer fan and should be as good as ever between the stable of runners, receivers, and lineman that Ted has been stockpiling. Really the only thing with any credibility on the line this year is yoga, because if Rodgers doesn't stay healthy, what else is to blame? It all hinges on yoga. I'll be back in a couple days to discuss the real reason I'm excited about this years' Packer team... yoga! I mean, the defense, the defense is way better. Although I bet Rodgers would look great in the mountain pose.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Why the current Timberwolve's roster will never work
I've heard a lot of talk about Kevin Love and the Timberwolves. I take that back, I heard one person say something in passing about the Timberwolves once. Or maybe it was a Game of Thrones reference to direwolves. I guess what I'm getting at is that small market teams will lose their fan base pretty quickly if they're not competitive. I am an avid Bucks fan and have irrational hope for the future with Giannis and Henson as centerpieces, but I'm not going to watch them get embarrassed on a nightly basis. How do you think fans in Philly feel right now? The management should be sued for emotional damages for what they did to that squad. They may have talent next year but players don't just forget about being the worst team in the history of tanking, all for a 25 percent chance at the number one overall pick who is no longer clear cut selection. But I'll save that for another time. This T-Wolves roster is doomed, and it started with signing Pek to that contract.
I happen to love Pekovic. I wrote an article while I was at Augsburg a couple years ago about how he was already one of the best low-post players in the game, and he was averaging something like 8 points a game at that point. But let me clarify what I mean by low-post player: someone who's offense is based on backing down their man, and using strength, ball fakes or a soft touch to put the ball in the hoop at a high percentage. And at the same token, an all around post player can use strength to push his player off the block and force a post player into a lower percentage shot with good straight up defense. There was a time when this was an incredibly valued skill and somewhat common. The golden age of centers in the 90's will never return because players don't know how to bang anymore, they would rather fade away or shoot a 15 footer (high-post). I love watching ESPN classic games that feature Shaquille O'Neil, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, or my favorite-- Hakeem Olajuwon. Observe the beauty of the dream shake against an all-time great defender, the Admiral. The best low-post player in the game right now is Al Jefferson who is still pretty fun to watch, but is only now in his career starting to pass and play defense (kind of). It's a bi-product of not playing in college or learning the team concept (he averaged 42 points, 18 rebounds and 7 blocks per game in high school, I'm not sure if he registered an assist). Embiid showed some flashes of a post game this year at Kansas, including this beauty. Imagine if Dwight Howard had gone to college and learned some offense, he would have been an absolute monster with the current status of the new hybrid centers like DeAndre Jordan who wouldn't (and doesn't) stand a chance in the post. Pekovic is right at the stop based on his surprising combination of strength and touch. I honestly believe he could be the focal point of an offense that could slow the game down and toss him the ball in the post; he can get any shot that he wants with good positioning, it would only be a matter of finishing (which he does without much of a vertical). He still needs to work on passing out of the double team, but that's part of the progression, hopefully. Defensively, his strength allows him to push his opponent off of the block every time. 20 years ago, it would have been crucial. Now it helps against Al Jefferson, and that's about it since everyone else will just shoot over him.
The problem is that he is a god-awful fit alongside Kevin Love. Neither one plays an ounce of defense. I can't dunk, but watching them attempt to protect the hoop makes me think that I could throw it down in their faces by jumping off of their chest. They are not entirely to blame, they do not have the physical tools or the mental makeup to be willing to get posterized by going after everything near the hoop. The thing I've noticed about big men is that you don't need to be a rim protector, but you need someone to watch your back. Either the power forward or center HAS TO protect the rim, but preferably only one since it leaves you out of position because you are leaving your man. Dirk Nowitzki has never been known as a defender. He is a decent one because he is tall and plays straight up which affects shots but he needed Tyson Chandler to win the championship because he was always there when Dirk or anyone else got taken off the dribble. Then the Knicks proceeded to set themselves back 5 years by signing him to that obnoxious contract, forgetting that it's the balance that made them so great together. Pek and Love make one of the best offensive pairings in the NBA, with Love's shooting creating space for Pek to operate, and vice versa.
The problem that the brilliantly offensive-minded Rick Carlisle has never understood is that defense and rim protection wins championships. I would argue that last years Miami Heat wouldn't have ran down the Spurs if it weren't for... wait for it... The Birdman!!! Almost anyone in the NBA can score (watch the Lakers and see which scrub will blow up on a night-to-night basis). Kurt Thomas averaged 28.9 points and 14.6 rebounds per game in college but played 19 years in the league through his low-post defense and being an intelligent player who averaged 8 points a game. Is there any wonder that the Vlade Divac and Chris Weber Kings couldn't contend with Shaq and Kobe? The Lakers made a living at the rim between those two (Kobe wasn't always a step-back, fade-away, three-point shooter). I'm going on record that Jason Williams was the only reason that the Kings were any good, in addition to being the most overrated player of all time. The combination of Love and Pekovic is worse defensively than the creator of the flop and the fab-five failure. Flip Saunders drafted one of my favorite players last draft in Gorgui Dieng. I have been ranting all year about his talent to anyone who will listen, I saw it the first time I watched him play. He has great footwork because he played soccer, and multi-sport athletes are always more well rounded. He has a nice touch and good looking shot, especially for someone who hasn't been playing basketball that long. But most importantly, he attacks every shot like it's the last he will ever see. He ferociously goes after drives and is not afraid to get dunked on. He is EXACTLY who Kevin Love or Nikola Pekovic needs alongside them. He has the mentality to be an elite defender. Once I saw him play and saw how the season progressed with the minutes he got while the Timberwolves amazing offense went to waste by getting crushed on defense, I lost all respect for Carlisle. I know he's been going through some stuff family wise, but a quote I heard while watching a game summed it up perfectly. I will paraphrase: "The great thing about Rick Carlisle is that he really gives his assistants more responsibilities and the chance to step up and coach". Translation: He doesn't care, and is never there. Pathetic. Dieng only got minutes because Rick had no choice due to injuries, and has promptly ripped it up. The team will not be good while Carlisle is there and next year is the last chance to keep Love around because he will bolt if they don't make the playoffs, I promise you that.
I love the rest of the team, they are a great blend of players. Rubio went from overrated to underrated in a short time. He is near the top of the league in steals and assists and is a true pass-first point guard (rare). I went to a Timberwolves game and watched him shoot before the game and he seemed to make every three pointer that he took. I believe his issues with shooting are a combination of his mechanics taking too long to get his shot off and his doubts mentally. I personally think that the wide open shots, which he gets, are the hardest to make because you get time to think about your shot which is surprisingly the last thing you want. Basketball players are best when they're reacting, not thinking about mechanics or the fact that you better make it because you're open. Kevin Martin is a very efficient scorer. Cory Brewer has become one of my favorite players because of the energy he brings. Shabazz will be a stud small forward for years, his relentless energy changes the complexion of games. But they would have to pick up another shot blocker and bring Pek off the bench while starting Dieng, which coaches can't do when a player makes that much money. It's how the business of sports puts pressure on coaches (not that Rick cares about the fact that they don't fit together). Or they could trade him. But it would be tough to find partner to get equal value due to Pek's old-school and undervalued skill set. The best trade imaginable would be Pek for DeAndre Jordan, but newsflash: The Clippers wouldn't make that trade in a million years. Not now that Jordan is the defensive MVP of the league with the help of a defensive minded Doc Rivers.
So they're stuck in limbo, and I would hate to see perhaps the greatest offensive frontcourt player in the league simply walk away next year. Hopefully Flip figures it out before it's too late, because it would be a shame to waste the potential of this roster. Small-market teams have a hard enough time competing in today's NBA, I would hate to see mismanagement turn them into the western conference version of Milwaukee who might not have a franchise for much longer. Don't forget that the Lakers were once in Minneapolis, futility can mean the end of professional sports for a region.
I happen to love Pekovic. I wrote an article while I was at Augsburg a couple years ago about how he was already one of the best low-post players in the game, and he was averaging something like 8 points a game at that point. But let me clarify what I mean by low-post player: someone who's offense is based on backing down their man, and using strength, ball fakes or a soft touch to put the ball in the hoop at a high percentage. And at the same token, an all around post player can use strength to push his player off the block and force a post player into a lower percentage shot with good straight up defense. There was a time when this was an incredibly valued skill and somewhat common. The golden age of centers in the 90's will never return because players don't know how to bang anymore, they would rather fade away or shoot a 15 footer (high-post). I love watching ESPN classic games that feature Shaquille O'Neil, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, or my favorite-- Hakeem Olajuwon. Observe the beauty of the dream shake against an all-time great defender, the Admiral. The best low-post player in the game right now is Al Jefferson who is still pretty fun to watch, but is only now in his career starting to pass and play defense (kind of). It's a bi-product of not playing in college or learning the team concept (he averaged 42 points, 18 rebounds and 7 blocks per game in high school, I'm not sure if he registered an assist). Embiid showed some flashes of a post game this year at Kansas, including this beauty. Imagine if Dwight Howard had gone to college and learned some offense, he would have been an absolute monster with the current status of the new hybrid centers like DeAndre Jordan who wouldn't (and doesn't) stand a chance in the post. Pekovic is right at the stop based on his surprising combination of strength and touch. I honestly believe he could be the focal point of an offense that could slow the game down and toss him the ball in the post; he can get any shot that he wants with good positioning, it would only be a matter of finishing (which he does without much of a vertical). He still needs to work on passing out of the double team, but that's part of the progression, hopefully. Defensively, his strength allows him to push his opponent off of the block every time. 20 years ago, it would have been crucial. Now it helps against Al Jefferson, and that's about it since everyone else will just shoot over him.
The problem is that he is a god-awful fit alongside Kevin Love. Neither one plays an ounce of defense. I can't dunk, but watching them attempt to protect the hoop makes me think that I could throw it down in their faces by jumping off of their chest. They are not entirely to blame, they do not have the physical tools or the mental makeup to be willing to get posterized by going after everything near the hoop. The thing I've noticed about big men is that you don't need to be a rim protector, but you need someone to watch your back. Either the power forward or center HAS TO protect the rim, but preferably only one since it leaves you out of position because you are leaving your man. Dirk Nowitzki has never been known as a defender. He is a decent one because he is tall and plays straight up which affects shots but he needed Tyson Chandler to win the championship because he was always there when Dirk or anyone else got taken off the dribble. Then the Knicks proceeded to set themselves back 5 years by signing him to that obnoxious contract, forgetting that it's the balance that made them so great together. Pek and Love make one of the best offensive pairings in the NBA, with Love's shooting creating space for Pek to operate, and vice versa.
The problem that the brilliantly offensive-minded Rick Carlisle has never understood is that defense and rim protection wins championships. I would argue that last years Miami Heat wouldn't have ran down the Spurs if it weren't for... wait for it... The Birdman!!! Almost anyone in the NBA can score (watch the Lakers and see which scrub will blow up on a night-to-night basis). Kurt Thomas averaged 28.9 points and 14.6 rebounds per game in college but played 19 years in the league through his low-post defense and being an intelligent player who averaged 8 points a game. Is there any wonder that the Vlade Divac and Chris Weber Kings couldn't contend with Shaq and Kobe? The Lakers made a living at the rim between those two (Kobe wasn't always a step-back, fade-away, three-point shooter). I'm going on record that Jason Williams was the only reason that the Kings were any good, in addition to being the most overrated player of all time. The combination of Love and Pekovic is worse defensively than the creator of the flop and the fab-five failure. Flip Saunders drafted one of my favorite players last draft in Gorgui Dieng. I have been ranting all year about his talent to anyone who will listen, I saw it the first time I watched him play. He has great footwork because he played soccer, and multi-sport athletes are always more well rounded. He has a nice touch and good looking shot, especially for someone who hasn't been playing basketball that long. But most importantly, he attacks every shot like it's the last he will ever see. He ferociously goes after drives and is not afraid to get dunked on. He is EXACTLY who Kevin Love or Nikola Pekovic needs alongside them. He has the mentality to be an elite defender. Once I saw him play and saw how the season progressed with the minutes he got while the Timberwolves amazing offense went to waste by getting crushed on defense, I lost all respect for Carlisle. I know he's been going through some stuff family wise, but a quote I heard while watching a game summed it up perfectly. I will paraphrase: "The great thing about Rick Carlisle is that he really gives his assistants more responsibilities and the chance to step up and coach". Translation: He doesn't care, and is never there. Pathetic. Dieng only got minutes because Rick had no choice due to injuries, and has promptly ripped it up. The team will not be good while Carlisle is there and next year is the last chance to keep Love around because he will bolt if they don't make the playoffs, I promise you that.
I love the rest of the team, they are a great blend of players. Rubio went from overrated to underrated in a short time. He is near the top of the league in steals and assists and is a true pass-first point guard (rare). I went to a Timberwolves game and watched him shoot before the game and he seemed to make every three pointer that he took. I believe his issues with shooting are a combination of his mechanics taking too long to get his shot off and his doubts mentally. I personally think that the wide open shots, which he gets, are the hardest to make because you get time to think about your shot which is surprisingly the last thing you want. Basketball players are best when they're reacting, not thinking about mechanics or the fact that you better make it because you're open. Kevin Martin is a very efficient scorer. Cory Brewer has become one of my favorite players because of the energy he brings. Shabazz will be a stud small forward for years, his relentless energy changes the complexion of games. But they would have to pick up another shot blocker and bring Pek off the bench while starting Dieng, which coaches can't do when a player makes that much money. It's how the business of sports puts pressure on coaches (not that Rick cares about the fact that they don't fit together). Or they could trade him. But it would be tough to find partner to get equal value due to Pek's old-school and undervalued skill set. The best trade imaginable would be Pek for DeAndre Jordan, but newsflash: The Clippers wouldn't make that trade in a million years. Not now that Jordan is the defensive MVP of the league with the help of a defensive minded Doc Rivers.
So they're stuck in limbo, and I would hate to see perhaps the greatest offensive frontcourt player in the league simply walk away next year. Hopefully Flip figures it out before it's too late, because it would be a shame to waste the potential of this roster. Small-market teams have a hard enough time competing in today's NBA, I would hate to see mismanagement turn them into the western conference version of Milwaukee who might not have a franchise for much longer. Don't forget that the Lakers were once in Minneapolis, futility can mean the end of professional sports for a region.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
I wrote this in an hour
Greetings ya'll! I have spent the last year or so honing my craft on my sabbatical, I feel terrible for leaving you wanting for all of this time. I want to start by apologizing for my condescending tone in previous blogs, I was an angry youth who used this medium to verbally abuse people I deemed less informed than myself. Now to be clear, my feelings haven't changed one bit, but I will do my best to keep it all pent up until I explode with some fuming and irrational hate post about Kobe. But I digress...
I have one solitary piece of artwork on my walls, and it is this: A poster of the 2005 Minnesota Timberwolves team signed by each respective player. It was a gift. In case you didn't know, this was the greatest professional basketball team in Minnesota since George Mikan was roaming the lane in your librarian's glasses for the Minneapolis Lakers. They made the Western Conference Finals behind the league MVP in Kevin Garnett and the LVP in Mark Madsen (who was actually the one player who didn't sign it. It would have great depreciated it's value). They were an incredible blend of thugs, really really white guys, and aliens. Every morning, I have the privilege of rolling over in bed only to be greeted by the lovely Wally Szczerbiak and the most beautiful extra-terrestrial to ever grace the hardwood, Sam Cassell. If that doesn't inspire greatness, then you might not have it in you. Every night, I gaze at their faces and say a little prayer of thanks that I don't look like Sam Cassell. I would imagine that there must have been some intense deliberating on whether or not to include the mongloid in the poster, someone probably lost their job. But have you seen his wife? It's nice to see that she's carrying his child and everything but you know she's only with him for the money and alien genetic code. You may have noticed that I have fallen in love with links, but words will always fall short in attempting to describe the monstrosity that is Sam Cassell. Great guy, one of my favorite players... But hideous. The point is that I looked at the poster recently and decided that the Timberwolves have always sucked. This poster has captured the worst best team that a franchise has ever had and put it in a time capsule. It's more of a testament to the greatness of KG than anything else, but if you don't laugh out loud at the mere mention of some of these names... Then you, like most people, don't give a shit about the Timberwolves.
Now don't get me wrong, the poster is my most valuable possession even though I've always been a Bucks fan and thought about selling it numerous times. But it was a gift, and what would I do with all of that money anyways? You see, it wasn't just that I had no concept of money or the value of a bunch of a illegible sharpie. It was that I seemed to overrate every single player on the team. By my estimation, there were 6 hall-of-famers on the squad. At least. There are the obvious ones... Kevin Garnett gets in based on trash talk alone and being the first player to intentionally goaltend every single shot after the whistle. Did you know that KG told Carmelo Anthony that his wife lalala smelled like Honey Nut Cheerios? Incredibly original! It's easy to forget the kind of offensive juggernaut that the Big Ticket was with the Timberwolves since he was able to tone it back and become more focused on defense with the Celtics. 24 points on 50% shooting, 14 rebounds and 5 assists with a steal and two blocks per game in his best statistical season. But he was also a born leader and had the ability to get into people's head, he's just a scary dude. Not the kind of guy you would want/be able to see in a dark alley at night. Wally Szczerbiak gets into the hall for the most on court proposals by swooning women and for being one of the worst players to ever make the all-star team (I had to triple check that one). Cassell should be obvious by now, the lovable goon absolutely killed it in ET. Latrell Sprewell is also a given; he invented spinners (I think he did but I'm not going to look into it), and then promptly inserted them into his shoes.... all so he could feed his family! Class act that one, finally someone who had the balls to choke his coach when PJ threatened to keep food off of his family's table. Everyone knows that being the number one overall pick gets you the automatic bid into the hall of fame, especially if you are distinguished enough to be remembered as the worst number one pick of all time (Anthony Bennett is giving him a run for his money). So Michael Olowakandi gets the nod. Plus, shitty players don't get nicknames as amazing as the Kandi-man. Troy Hudson gets the lifetime achievement award for his accomplishments both on and off of the court. He had some dope braids on the court, and some even more dope beats as T-Hud the rapper. Unfortunately for the beats, he was the worst rapper in NBA history (yes, worse than Shaq and Allen Iverson). Have a listen. But wait, there's another obvious one. Mark Madsen was the whitest player to ever play in the NBA, and got paid millions of dollars for being one of the worst players as well. Did the Timberwolves really think that he was the crucial missing piece that would put them over the top? Or maybe they thought that it was addition by subtraction, with the Lakers being devastated by the loss of his lovable antics, fresh bread, and dance moves. Please watch to the end.
And those are just the obvious ones. There are equally memorable players that helped create the balance of thug/white. "Dead-eye Fred" Hoiberg didn't miss a three pointer all season and was known for the cruel nickname coined for his lazy eye (fact checkers are overrated). Ervin "not magic" Johnson never got into Hogwarts and still would have traded places with Magic even after the HIV fiasco. Trenton Hassel made high socks uncool foreverr. Ndubi Edi was Kevin Garnett's heir apparent, drafted out of high school probably because his name is kind of fun to say. I'm not sure if he ever played a minute. Anthony Carter seemed pretty cool. There's some guy that I don't even know, and I'm too lazy to research someone who got less playing time than Mark Madsen. Now death is never ever funny without exception, but sometimes it is hilarious. Does anyone remember Eddie Griffin, the basketball player (RIP)? During his one year stint with the Timberwolves, his most noted achievement was getting in a DUI fender bender when he rear ended someone while masturbating to pornography on his in-dash television (I always wondered what those were for, now I know). Apparently he never quite got that in hand (PI), because he died shortly after when his SUV struck the side of a moving train. I can testify that sometimes it's hard (PI) to look away. Oh, and the .26 blood-alcohol level may have contributed. Good stuff.
Somehow that rag-tag bunch of misfits made it to the western conference finals before being ousted by a team with actual hall-of-famers, the Lakers (the Karl Malone, Gary Payton Lakers). Somehow, this team had the original "big three" of KG, Yoda, and the family man, Sprewell (I'm not sure Garnett believed that anything was possible until he left Minnesota). Somehow, this is the best Minnesota professional basketball has to offer. And somehow, this poster if comforting for me. It is my crucifix, my dream catcher, and my Bob Marley poster all rolled (PI) into one. Behold it, in all of it's glory!
... the bidding starts at 25,000 dollars.
I have one solitary piece of artwork on my walls, and it is this: A poster of the 2005 Minnesota Timberwolves team signed by each respective player. It was a gift. In case you didn't know, this was the greatest professional basketball team in Minnesota since George Mikan was roaming the lane in your librarian's glasses for the Minneapolis Lakers. They made the Western Conference Finals behind the league MVP in Kevin Garnett and the LVP in Mark Madsen (who was actually the one player who didn't sign it. It would have great depreciated it's value). They were an incredible blend of thugs, really really white guys, and aliens. Every morning, I have the privilege of rolling over in bed only to be greeted by the lovely Wally Szczerbiak and the most beautiful extra-terrestrial to ever grace the hardwood, Sam Cassell. If that doesn't inspire greatness, then you might not have it in you. Every night, I gaze at their faces and say a little prayer of thanks that I don't look like Sam Cassell. I would imagine that there must have been some intense deliberating on whether or not to include the mongloid in the poster, someone probably lost their job. But have you seen his wife? It's nice to see that she's carrying his child and everything but you know she's only with him for the money and alien genetic code. You may have noticed that I have fallen in love with links, but words will always fall short in attempting to describe the monstrosity that is Sam Cassell. Great guy, one of my favorite players... But hideous. The point is that I looked at the poster recently and decided that the Timberwolves have always sucked. This poster has captured the worst best team that a franchise has ever had and put it in a time capsule. It's more of a testament to the greatness of KG than anything else, but if you don't laugh out loud at the mere mention of some of these names... Then you, like most people, don't give a shit about the Timberwolves.
Now don't get me wrong, the poster is my most valuable possession even though I've always been a Bucks fan and thought about selling it numerous times. But it was a gift, and what would I do with all of that money anyways? You see, it wasn't just that I had no concept of money or the value of a bunch of a illegible sharpie. It was that I seemed to overrate every single player on the team. By my estimation, there were 6 hall-of-famers on the squad. At least. There are the obvious ones... Kevin Garnett gets in based on trash talk alone and being the first player to intentionally goaltend every single shot after the whistle. Did you know that KG told Carmelo Anthony that his wife lalala smelled like Honey Nut Cheerios? Incredibly original! It's easy to forget the kind of offensive juggernaut that the Big Ticket was with the Timberwolves since he was able to tone it back and become more focused on defense with the Celtics. 24 points on 50% shooting, 14 rebounds and 5 assists with a steal and two blocks per game in his best statistical season. But he was also a born leader and had the ability to get into people's head, he's just a scary dude. Not the kind of guy you would want/be able to see in a dark alley at night. Wally Szczerbiak gets into the hall for the most on court proposals by swooning women and for being one of the worst players to ever make the all-star team (I had to triple check that one). Cassell should be obvious by now, the lovable goon absolutely killed it in ET. Latrell Sprewell is also a given; he invented spinners (I think he did but I'm not going to look into it), and then promptly inserted them into his shoes.... all so he could feed his family! Class act that one, finally someone who had the balls to choke his coach when PJ threatened to keep food off of his family's table. Everyone knows that being the number one overall pick gets you the automatic bid into the hall of fame, especially if you are distinguished enough to be remembered as the worst number one pick of all time (Anthony Bennett is giving him a run for his money). So Michael Olowakandi gets the nod. Plus, shitty players don't get nicknames as amazing as the Kandi-man. Troy Hudson gets the lifetime achievement award for his accomplishments both on and off of the court. He had some dope braids on the court, and some even more dope beats as T-Hud the rapper. Unfortunately for the beats, he was the worst rapper in NBA history (yes, worse than Shaq and Allen Iverson). Have a listen. But wait, there's another obvious one. Mark Madsen was the whitest player to ever play in the NBA, and got paid millions of dollars for being one of the worst players as well. Did the Timberwolves really think that he was the crucial missing piece that would put them over the top? Or maybe they thought that it was addition by subtraction, with the Lakers being devastated by the loss of his lovable antics, fresh bread, and dance moves. Please watch to the end.
And those are just the obvious ones. There are equally memorable players that helped create the balance of thug/white. "Dead-eye Fred" Hoiberg didn't miss a three pointer all season and was known for the cruel nickname coined for his lazy eye (fact checkers are overrated). Ervin "not magic" Johnson never got into Hogwarts and still would have traded places with Magic even after the HIV fiasco. Trenton Hassel made high socks uncool foreverr. Ndubi Edi was Kevin Garnett's heir apparent, drafted out of high school probably because his name is kind of fun to say. I'm not sure if he ever played a minute. Anthony Carter seemed pretty cool. There's some guy that I don't even know, and I'm too lazy to research someone who got less playing time than Mark Madsen. Now death is never ever funny without exception, but sometimes it is hilarious. Does anyone remember Eddie Griffin, the basketball player (RIP)? During his one year stint with the Timberwolves, his most noted achievement was getting in a DUI fender bender when he rear ended someone while masturbating to pornography on his in-dash television (I always wondered what those were for, now I know). Apparently he never quite got that in hand (PI), because he died shortly after when his SUV struck the side of a moving train. I can testify that sometimes it's hard (PI) to look away. Oh, and the .26 blood-alcohol level may have contributed. Good stuff.
Somehow that rag-tag bunch of misfits made it to the western conference finals before being ousted by a team with actual hall-of-famers, the Lakers (the Karl Malone, Gary Payton Lakers). Somehow, this team had the original "big three" of KG, Yoda, and the family man, Sprewell (I'm not sure Garnett believed that anything was possible until he left Minnesota). Somehow, this is the best Minnesota professional basketball has to offer. And somehow, this poster if comforting for me. It is my crucifix, my dream catcher, and my Bob Marley poster all rolled (PI) into one. Behold it, in all of it's glory!
... the bidding starts at 25,000 dollars.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
MJ vs Lebron vs you're dumb
Let me start by saying that I don't think that you specifically are dumb. If you're smart enough to read my blog, then you are at least on the path of enlightenment. And since this probably isn't your first, you couldn't possibly be uninformed enough to be dumb. That being said, everyone else is dumb. This MJ vs Lebron argument really gets my goat and as a shepherd of men and goats, there is nothing more upsetting (I am one of those people who enjoys using old fashioned sayings without understanding the origin). Basketball is a culmination of many things, most of which are not quantifiable. Like in all sports, that is what makes people's opinions legitimate (in theory) because there isn't a formula to decide greatness. If there was, it might be something like-- (number of illegitimate children) + (MVP awards) - (appearances in terrible commercials selling strange products {do yourself a favor and watch the Pete Rose aqua velvet commercials on youtube}) x (the number of people who hate them {people are dumb}) + (championships) - (alimony payments) = no one cares. I am one of those crazy people who likes to use the only quantifiable aspect of sports, statistics, to make my arguments. Like any decent journalist, I will manipulate statistics to do my bidding so skepticism is encouraged. Unfortunately, I was not born with the gift of recognizing greatness by simply giving it the eye test. I have tried with women and have been left wanting (don't worry, most of them can't read so their feelings won't be hurt). I simply will present some arguments and some questions and let you decide for yourself.
How do you even define greatness, or decide who is better? LJ would own MJ in games of 1 v 1 and if you disagree than stop reading because you are beyond hope. Besides, it's a team sport. Is it about who has more championships? Bill Russel would be the greatest ever because he redefined being a winner. He has more rings as a player/coach (at the same time) than sir Charles Barkley. He coached his team, and was their best player. And he barely even scored double digits! So he's not in the conversation because the best ever has to be more entertaining. So it must go to the best scorer then... Who would that be? Most points per game? Does it matter how many shots they took, or what percentage they made? Okay, so has to be whoever is the most unguardable. Kareem's sky hook couldn't be touched, Shaq couldn't be guarded without flagrant fouls, but Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a game. But it can't count if you're that tall because it's just not fair. Wilt may have gone down as the best ever if it weren't for that snoozer who kept beating him the finals, Bill Russel. Wilt not only averaged 50 points a game for an entire season, but had averages of 7.8 and 8.3 assists per game to show that he wasn't a ballhog (he won one of his 2 championships during those years). Kobe tried passing for 4 games and wants a medal of honor. Fine, big guys are out... so it has to be whoever can make the toughest shots look easy, which would have to be a tie between Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, and Nick Young. Do we ever stop to wonder why the shots look so tough in the first place? Right... So, it's best all around player. Oscar Robinson averaged a triple double for an entire season, and was damn close to doing it a couple other times. Not just a Rondo triple double-- he averaged 30 points, 11 assists and 12 rebounds per game. But he wouldn't have won a title without Ferdinand Lewis Alcindor (who?) so he couldn't be that great because it's all about who has the best team, inversely. Obviously it's Lebron, because he has 2 other elite players on his team. But shoot, there have been a couple Laker teams that had a hall-of-fame starting lineup that didn't win anything. And as I think about it, MJ had Scottie Pippen, who is in a totally different class than Dwyane Wade (better you idiot, there's no debate). And Lebron inherited Wade who is past his prime. But what about that other dinosaur looking dude from the big 2.... ummm.... Bostrich, that's it. As talented as Bosh may be offensively, he is not better than Dennis Rodman. Remember him? Probably not for anything other than celebrity rehab or the hair or kicking a guy in the nuts, but he is legitimately one of the all-time greats. He had seasons in which he averaged more rebounds per game than bostrich averages points, but defense is boring (see Russel). Kerr was crucial. Kukoc was valuable. There is a long list of defensive players who you know nothing about but are more valuable to a team than the scraps that the nearly-retired Ray Allen/Rashard Lewis/Mike Miller/Shane Battier provides. Don't you think that the heat could use a Bill Cartwright, Will Perdue, or Horace Grant to protect the hoop? Keep in mind that this was a different kind of basketball back then, one where white players could thrive by fouling superior competition. Fouls are no longer allowed in the NBA (watch a espn classic game, it looks like football). I could make a case for either guy's team, but most people won't because stupid people make up their minds and don't listen to reason. I am sometimes, rarely, as guilty of it as anyone.
MJ changed the game forever, making it globally relevant. People who watched him play may not ever take him off that pedestal. The younger generation of people who didn't see Jordan have no idea how much more skill he had than Lebron, and the older generation will resent LJ for that. Lebron will be penalized for his freakish body and athleticism because he can get whatever shot he wants where Michael made some impossible shots look easy. There is a reason that people misconstrue Kobe's offense with overall greatness; that is because his offensive game reminds people of Michael. But MJ was sooooooooo much more than that, and I somehow underrated him. I am in awe of Lebron's newfound efficiency on offense, because it is my favorite facet of the game. Not simply scoring, but scoring efficiency. I make an important distinction when you reach the 50% fg mark, because, simply put, you are making at least half of your shots. Kobe has never done it for a season. Durant is one of the greatest scorers we will ever see because he leads the league while shooting 50% from the field, and that's including a lot of three pointers. Lebron is scoring 25 points a game at 56% from the field (and rising). He is shooting 42% from the 3 point line, so you can no longer say that he has no jumpshot. He has had a better long range shot than MJ from day one. He is a better passer and rebounder than MJ ever was. He has realized that he can do anything that he wants on the floor, and the rest of the league is screwed. Before I looked at the numbers, I knew that MJ had some amazing scoring seasons but I doubted his efficiency because he wasn't a great long range shooter and he took a lot of tough shots with everyone putting all of their attention on stopping him. I was way off. In his third year, he averaged 37 points per game at 48% shooting (18% from 3 pointers!). The next year he improved to 35 per game at 53%, which is amazing. The following year, Pippen's rookie season, was his pride and glory and is greater than any Lebron has ever had: 32 points on 53% shooting (27% from 3) with 8 rebounds and 8 assists. I'm sticking to offense for now. I had no idea the kind of numbers he put up, but keep in mind that it would still be another two more years before he won his first championship. Also, keep in mind that MJ only averaged less than twenty shots per game in one full season with the Bulls, which was his rookie season (19.8 shots). The rest of them were between 22-27 shots per game. Half of LJ's seasons averaged less than twenty per game, a couple at 21 and one at 23. I'm stating the obvious, that Lebron is more of a team player. The fact that he "passes too much" in crunch time has been a large criticism, but I believe that this year he is coming into his own offensively and will begin to compile a list of game/series winning shots to add to the ones he already has that will rival any other. In my opinion it is his passing, his 3 point shooting, and his ability to score on less shots with more free throws that makes him better than Jordan offensively. If you disagree, than there is no point in reading on because you are going to take all of the fun out of this.
Lebron's versatility and athleticism must make him the better player defensively, right? Not even close. Although there is no quantifiable stat for straight up defense, many people argue that MJ might have been the greatest defender the NBA has ever seen and the numbers agree with them. It might be easier to make a defense for Lebron if he was more of a shot blocker, but his numbers come from steals (Jordan's specialty). People only remember Bronnie's cool blocks against the backboards, but his best season only got him 1.1 per game. The smaller MJ had season averages of 1.6 and 1.5. They have the same career block/game numbers but that includes MJ's aging decline (tough to call it that). Lebron had one season in which he had over 2 steals per game (2.2). His Airness averaged 2.3 for his entire career, with a high of 3.2 (combined with the 1.6 steals, a legendary season defensively). He was a shut down defender. Lebron can guard every position, but he doesn't have the numbers. I give MJ the nod.
There are soooooo many facets that make up the entirety of an athlete. Skill is a small part of it. God-given athleticism is another. The competitive drive is what can propel someone who was cut from his high school basketball team to become the greatest ever. Work ethic is crucial. Your surroundings and plain dumb luck are another. Sometimes freak injuries occur. The point that I am slowly trying to make is that the comparison between players is stupid. I personally think that MJ's level of competitiveness is unlike any we have ever seen, and that made him different. He's telling the truth when he says that he would never team up with rival superstars. But the game is different (sadly). And Lebron realized that if he wants to be put in the conversation with Michael, he needs some rings to match. If I had to choose one player in his prime to have on my team, it would be Lebron but that's because we would play so well together, me being a knock down shooter and elite pick and roll player. I would accuse MJ of taking bad shots and he would probably let his ego get in the way and we would have to trade him. Lebron is selfless, and people who love MJ and Kobe don't like that about him. Either way, he has a long career ahead of him to compile statistics and awards and highlights and I think he'll do it. I have had a strange relationship with LJ because I loved him when he was young, hated what he did to Cleveland and the way he did it, but recently decided that I am not going to hate or take for granted the best player of all time (arguably). I know that I am guilty of doing it with MJ, and I won't make that mistake again.
How do you even define greatness, or decide who is better? LJ would own MJ in games of 1 v 1 and if you disagree than stop reading because you are beyond hope. Besides, it's a team sport. Is it about who has more championships? Bill Russel would be the greatest ever because he redefined being a winner. He has more rings as a player/coach (at the same time) than sir Charles Barkley. He coached his team, and was their best player. And he barely even scored double digits! So he's not in the conversation because the best ever has to be more entertaining. So it must go to the best scorer then... Who would that be? Most points per game? Does it matter how many shots they took, or what percentage they made? Okay, so has to be whoever is the most unguardable. Kareem's sky hook couldn't be touched, Shaq couldn't be guarded without flagrant fouls, but Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a game. But it can't count if you're that tall because it's just not fair. Wilt may have gone down as the best ever if it weren't for that snoozer who kept beating him the finals, Bill Russel. Wilt not only averaged 50 points a game for an entire season, but had averages of 7.8 and 8.3 assists per game to show that he wasn't a ballhog (he won one of his 2 championships during those years). Kobe tried passing for 4 games and wants a medal of honor. Fine, big guys are out... so it has to be whoever can make the toughest shots look easy, which would have to be a tie between Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, and Nick Young. Do we ever stop to wonder why the shots look so tough in the first place? Right... So, it's best all around player. Oscar Robinson averaged a triple double for an entire season, and was damn close to doing it a couple other times. Not just a Rondo triple double-- he averaged 30 points, 11 assists and 12 rebounds per game. But he wouldn't have won a title without Ferdinand Lewis Alcindor (who?) so he couldn't be that great because it's all about who has the best team, inversely. Obviously it's Lebron, because he has 2 other elite players on his team. But shoot, there have been a couple Laker teams that had a hall-of-fame starting lineup that didn't win anything. And as I think about it, MJ had Scottie Pippen, who is in a totally different class than Dwyane Wade (better you idiot, there's no debate). And Lebron inherited Wade who is past his prime. But what about that other dinosaur looking dude from the big 2.... ummm.... Bostrich, that's it. As talented as Bosh may be offensively, he is not better than Dennis Rodman. Remember him? Probably not for anything other than celebrity rehab or the hair or kicking a guy in the nuts, but he is legitimately one of the all-time greats. He had seasons in which he averaged more rebounds per game than bostrich averages points, but defense is boring (see Russel). Kerr was crucial. Kukoc was valuable. There is a long list of defensive players who you know nothing about but are more valuable to a team than the scraps that the nearly-retired Ray Allen/Rashard Lewis/Mike Miller/Shane Battier provides. Don't you think that the heat could use a Bill Cartwright, Will Perdue, or Horace Grant to protect the hoop? Keep in mind that this was a different kind of basketball back then, one where white players could thrive by fouling superior competition. Fouls are no longer allowed in the NBA (watch a espn classic game, it looks like football). I could make a case for either guy's team, but most people won't because stupid people make up their minds and don't listen to reason. I am sometimes, rarely, as guilty of it as anyone.
MJ changed the game forever, making it globally relevant. People who watched him play may not ever take him off that pedestal. The younger generation of people who didn't see Jordan have no idea how much more skill he had than Lebron, and the older generation will resent LJ for that. Lebron will be penalized for his freakish body and athleticism because he can get whatever shot he wants where Michael made some impossible shots look easy. There is a reason that people misconstrue Kobe's offense with overall greatness; that is because his offensive game reminds people of Michael. But MJ was sooooooooo much more than that, and I somehow underrated him. I am in awe of Lebron's newfound efficiency on offense, because it is my favorite facet of the game. Not simply scoring, but scoring efficiency. I make an important distinction when you reach the 50% fg mark, because, simply put, you are making at least half of your shots. Kobe has never done it for a season. Durant is one of the greatest scorers we will ever see because he leads the league while shooting 50% from the field, and that's including a lot of three pointers. Lebron is scoring 25 points a game at 56% from the field (and rising). He is shooting 42% from the 3 point line, so you can no longer say that he has no jumpshot. He has had a better long range shot than MJ from day one. He is a better passer and rebounder than MJ ever was. He has realized that he can do anything that he wants on the floor, and the rest of the league is screwed. Before I looked at the numbers, I knew that MJ had some amazing scoring seasons but I doubted his efficiency because he wasn't a great long range shooter and he took a lot of tough shots with everyone putting all of their attention on stopping him. I was way off. In his third year, he averaged 37 points per game at 48% shooting (18% from 3 pointers!). The next year he improved to 35 per game at 53%, which is amazing. The following year, Pippen's rookie season, was his pride and glory and is greater than any Lebron has ever had: 32 points on 53% shooting (27% from 3) with 8 rebounds and 8 assists. I'm sticking to offense for now. I had no idea the kind of numbers he put up, but keep in mind that it would still be another two more years before he won his first championship. Also, keep in mind that MJ only averaged less than twenty shots per game in one full season with the Bulls, which was his rookie season (19.8 shots). The rest of them were between 22-27 shots per game. Half of LJ's seasons averaged less than twenty per game, a couple at 21 and one at 23. I'm stating the obvious, that Lebron is more of a team player. The fact that he "passes too much" in crunch time has been a large criticism, but I believe that this year he is coming into his own offensively and will begin to compile a list of game/series winning shots to add to the ones he already has that will rival any other. In my opinion it is his passing, his 3 point shooting, and his ability to score on less shots with more free throws that makes him better than Jordan offensively. If you disagree, than there is no point in reading on because you are going to take all of the fun out of this.
Lebron's versatility and athleticism must make him the better player defensively, right? Not even close. Although there is no quantifiable stat for straight up defense, many people argue that MJ might have been the greatest defender the NBA has ever seen and the numbers agree with them. It might be easier to make a defense for Lebron if he was more of a shot blocker, but his numbers come from steals (Jordan's specialty). People only remember Bronnie's cool blocks against the backboards, but his best season only got him 1.1 per game. The smaller MJ had season averages of 1.6 and 1.5. They have the same career block/game numbers but that includes MJ's aging decline (tough to call it that). Lebron had one season in which he had over 2 steals per game (2.2). His Airness averaged 2.3 for his entire career, with a high of 3.2 (combined with the 1.6 steals, a legendary season defensively). He was a shut down defender. Lebron can guard every position, but he doesn't have the numbers. I give MJ the nod.
There are soooooo many facets that make up the entirety of an athlete. Skill is a small part of it. God-given athleticism is another. The competitive drive is what can propel someone who was cut from his high school basketball team to become the greatest ever. Work ethic is crucial. Your surroundings and plain dumb luck are another. Sometimes freak injuries occur. The point that I am slowly trying to make is that the comparison between players is stupid. I personally think that MJ's level of competitiveness is unlike any we have ever seen, and that made him different. He's telling the truth when he says that he would never team up with rival superstars. But the game is different (sadly). And Lebron realized that if he wants to be put in the conversation with Michael, he needs some rings to match. If I had to choose one player in his prime to have on my team, it would be Lebron but that's because we would play so well together, me being a knock down shooter and elite pick and roll player. I would accuse MJ of taking bad shots and he would probably let his ego get in the way and we would have to trade him. Lebron is selfless, and people who love MJ and Kobe don't like that about him. Either way, he has a long career ahead of him to compile statistics and awards and highlights and I think he'll do it. I have had a strange relationship with LJ because I loved him when he was young, hated what he did to Cleveland and the way he did it, but recently decided that I am not going to hate or take for granted the best player of all time (arguably). I know that I am guilty of doing it with MJ, and I won't make that mistake again.
Friday, February 8, 2013
The black mamba say mama saw mamma mu saw
Kobe Bryant raped a chick! I figured I would start with that so all the irrational Kobe lovers would know that this is your chance to get out before I turn your life on it's head. It's common knowledge that every Mamba lover has dismissed these allegations with one of any number of airtight rebuttals, like... The vaginal trauma she sustained was obviously caused by the sex she had with a white dude the night before... The blood found on Kobe's shirt came from a brutal foul during the game that day and you just know the referees missed it... Would a monster capable of rape really buy his (ex) wife a ring that big?... He was in Utah and all the more willing girls had already been snatched up by Mormons... That girl was a slut (like there is a private stash of virgins who save themselves for NBA players)... Uncomfortable yet? The reason I bring this up is because it is indicative of the person that Kobe is, and the people who love him blindly. I believe him to be massively overrated, as well as a self-centered jackass. Just because he was the best in the game for a small window of time doesn't make him one of the best players ever. And I'm not saying that he is the only athlete guilty of being self-centered, but he takes being a bad teammate to a whole new level.
Now for the record, I am a Mamba lover. It's been my favorite candy for as long as I can remember, but I'm sad to say that I can no longer find it in my local convenience stores so I'm forced to talk about the Black Mamba instead. Did you know that he gave himself that nickname? Who does that? I guess people who aren't worthy of nicknames to start out with. Mine (Messy) was given to me at birth by God himself, and then by my neighbor who couldn't pronounce my last name correctly. So the obvious argument for why he is one of the best ever is the number of rings that he has the luxury of wearing. I could make the argument that without Phil keeping Kobe's ego in check, he would have none. But that's too easy. For the first three championships (2000, '01, '02) he wasn't even the best player on his own team. In the first against the Pacers in Kobe's fourth year, he averaged 15 points, 4 rebounds, and 4 assists per game on 36% shooting! Shaq, a man capable of elevating his game for an entire series when it counts, averaged 38 points, 16 rebounds and almost 3 blocks a game while shooting an ungodly 61% for the series. For those of you that don't study basketball like I do, it's fairly simple to see if a player is an efficient scorer and can create good shots for himself. Does he make half of the shots that he takes from the floor? There is much more to it than that, like free throw attempts, 3 point attempts, etc. but I like to keep it simple. Kobe has never once in his career shot over 46% from the field during a season. You may think that is pretty close (in his best shooting season btw) but when you are shooting as much as Kobe does, those percentage points add up. In the next year against Philadelphia, his numbers improve across the board with averages of 24 points, 7 rebounds, and 5 assists per game in the finals. He still shot 41% from the field while Shaq had another monster series. In the third year during the sweep versus the Nets, Kobe had a great series. Unfortunately for Mamba and the Lakers, Shaq's was better; the count was 3 rings, no finals MVP's for Kobe and that started to eat at him. Does everyone remember how things played out after this? A couple losses to the Spurs and the Mambo decided that he was better than Shaq and that there isn't room for the two of them in LA. Because king baby Kobe is the future and Shaq was on the decline, he is soon traded to Miami (where he would win another ship) while Kobe remained in LA LA land. I think he honestly thought that he would be first player to ever win without any help, and I'm pretty sure he liked playing with scrubs (for a while) so he could hoist up as many shots as possible. He wanted to average 40 points a game and win in it all, and he was too arrogant to understand how impossible that is. Yeah, he scored 81 points in a game which is amazing. You know what else is amazing? How bad the Lakers were that year. They actually started a guy named Smush.
Kobe became relevant again once the Grizzlies essentially gave Kobe the key second man that he didn't think that he needed. By this time, an uber-talented Andrew Bynum was beginning to come into his own. Do people remember all the nonsense that went on before Gasol came? Kobe questioning publicly whether the Lakers still deserved him... Publicly slamming a young and impressionable Andrew Bynum and questioning the management's decision to take him... Throwing people under the bus left and right because he couldn't possibly accept responsibility for having a bad team. And that was just off the court. On the court, there was no such thing as a bad shot in his world. Why pass the ball when he could shoot a step-back fadeaway three-pointer and then whine for a foul when he missed? He has averaged under five assists a game for his career, mostly when he accidently dribbled off of his shoe to a teammate who was wide open for a layup because everyone was ooooing and ahhhhing at Kobe's "offense". To me he will go down as the player who took the most, and inherently made the most, bad shots. He is a bad shot maker, which fans love (and try and emulate, which is bad for the game). He once in a while will pass out of a double or triple-team, but not willingly. Then came the Zen Master, back again with the ability to somehow deceive Kobe (maybe he hypnotized him) into believing in this triangle offense which allowed other players to touch the ball every once in a while. So back they were in the finals in 2008 against a Magic team who had no right being there in the first place because Dwight carried that team with almost no help. Kobe finally gets his first finals MVP, and deservedly so. He averaged 7 assists per game for an entire series! Granted, he shot 43% from the field while Pau shot 60% with his 18 points per game but that was Kobe's team and he shouldered the load. I will give him that one without protest. The next year is an example of why I don't think he can be considered in the top 5 of all time greats. They won it again, but he once again failed to elevate his game for a series when he shot 40% from the field with 4 rebounds and 4 assists. He's always going to get his points, because that's what he does. I have looked at his playoff/finals numbers and he simply doesn't take it to another level. The players around him did; Pau (virtually as many assits as Kobe), Fisher, Artest, and Odom all improved on their regular season stats when it mattered most. Do you remember the stats I listed for Shaquille? If you look back at the numbers, the best players play their best basketball when it matters most, but not Kobe. Consistently great. I understand that I am using numbers to skew the perspective, like most analysts do, and there is no denying that Kobe passes the eye test because he is amazing. But there is a laundry list of players over the course of history that I would take over Kobe Bryant based on numbers alone. And it's impossible to quantify the effect that his ego and shot selection have had on the psyche of his teammates.
Which brings me to this year. I got into a heated discussion with one of these bandwagon Kobe/Laker fans because I said that he doesn't know how to play with superstars anymore. Pau and Bynum are not superstars, they are all-stars. They are great players who blended well with Kobe because they didn't have the egos of superstars, but Kobe has always been a lone wolf so they were good fits. He struggled doing it with Shaq, and without Phil there to check his ego, I knew that this season was headed for trouble. I had no idea it would be this bad (imagine my delight) but I am in no way surprised. Firing Brown was mistake number one, Hiring D'Antoni was mistake number two, but thinking that Kobe would all of the sudden become a selfless teammate was what started it all. The Nash/Pau/Dwight combination alone would be enough to make this a playoff team, but Kobe has to be Kobe. Screw team basketball, he has to get his 30 a game and those other bums can fend for themselves. He needs to learn to be a more efficient scorer, but it's too late for that. I knew that this double digit assist thing was a mirage because he doesn't trust anyone but himself. This last debacle with throwing another teammate under the bus is the icing on the cake for me. I'm not going to sit back and pretend like this chump is above the game. It feels so similar to me since an old favorite of mine did the same thing in regards to football, and it invokes the same feeling of disdain in me for the disrespect of players past, current, and those to come. No one is above the game, and I am relishing the way his career is beginning to unravel similar to that of the aforementioned dickhead. I appreciate sports and players for who they really are, so I can admit that they are great players but can also see that they always put themselves first. Those are not people who I would want on my team.
Now for the record, I am a Mamba lover. It's been my favorite candy for as long as I can remember, but I'm sad to say that I can no longer find it in my local convenience stores so I'm forced to talk about the Black Mamba instead. Did you know that he gave himself that nickname? Who does that? I guess people who aren't worthy of nicknames to start out with. Mine (Messy) was given to me at birth by God himself, and then by my neighbor who couldn't pronounce my last name correctly. So the obvious argument for why he is one of the best ever is the number of rings that he has the luxury of wearing. I could make the argument that without Phil keeping Kobe's ego in check, he would have none. But that's too easy. For the first three championships (2000, '01, '02) he wasn't even the best player on his own team. In the first against the Pacers in Kobe's fourth year, he averaged 15 points, 4 rebounds, and 4 assists per game on 36% shooting! Shaq, a man capable of elevating his game for an entire series when it counts, averaged 38 points, 16 rebounds and almost 3 blocks a game while shooting an ungodly 61% for the series. For those of you that don't study basketball like I do, it's fairly simple to see if a player is an efficient scorer and can create good shots for himself. Does he make half of the shots that he takes from the floor? There is much more to it than that, like free throw attempts, 3 point attempts, etc. but I like to keep it simple. Kobe has never once in his career shot over 46% from the field during a season. You may think that is pretty close (in his best shooting season btw) but when you are shooting as much as Kobe does, those percentage points add up. In the next year against Philadelphia, his numbers improve across the board with averages of 24 points, 7 rebounds, and 5 assists per game in the finals. He still shot 41% from the field while Shaq had another monster series. In the third year during the sweep versus the Nets, Kobe had a great series. Unfortunately for Mamba and the Lakers, Shaq's was better; the count was 3 rings, no finals MVP's for Kobe and that started to eat at him. Does everyone remember how things played out after this? A couple losses to the Spurs and the Mambo decided that he was better than Shaq and that there isn't room for the two of them in LA. Because king baby Kobe is the future and Shaq was on the decline, he is soon traded to Miami (where he would win another ship) while Kobe remained in LA LA land. I think he honestly thought that he would be first player to ever win without any help, and I'm pretty sure he liked playing with scrubs (for a while) so he could hoist up as many shots as possible. He wanted to average 40 points a game and win in it all, and he was too arrogant to understand how impossible that is. Yeah, he scored 81 points in a game which is amazing. You know what else is amazing? How bad the Lakers were that year. They actually started a guy named Smush.
Kobe became relevant again once the Grizzlies essentially gave Kobe the key second man that he didn't think that he needed. By this time, an uber-talented Andrew Bynum was beginning to come into his own. Do people remember all the nonsense that went on before Gasol came? Kobe questioning publicly whether the Lakers still deserved him... Publicly slamming a young and impressionable Andrew Bynum and questioning the management's decision to take him... Throwing people under the bus left and right because he couldn't possibly accept responsibility for having a bad team. And that was just off the court. On the court, there was no such thing as a bad shot in his world. Why pass the ball when he could shoot a step-back fadeaway three-pointer and then whine for a foul when he missed? He has averaged under five assists a game for his career, mostly when he accidently dribbled off of his shoe to a teammate who was wide open for a layup because everyone was ooooing and ahhhhing at Kobe's "offense". To me he will go down as the player who took the most, and inherently made the most, bad shots. He is a bad shot maker, which fans love (and try and emulate, which is bad for the game). He once in a while will pass out of a double or triple-team, but not willingly. Then came the Zen Master, back again with the ability to somehow deceive Kobe (maybe he hypnotized him) into believing in this triangle offense which allowed other players to touch the ball every once in a while. So back they were in the finals in 2008 against a Magic team who had no right being there in the first place because Dwight carried that team with almost no help. Kobe finally gets his first finals MVP, and deservedly so. He averaged 7 assists per game for an entire series! Granted, he shot 43% from the field while Pau shot 60% with his 18 points per game but that was Kobe's team and he shouldered the load. I will give him that one without protest. The next year is an example of why I don't think he can be considered in the top 5 of all time greats. They won it again, but he once again failed to elevate his game for a series when he shot 40% from the field with 4 rebounds and 4 assists. He's always going to get his points, because that's what he does. I have looked at his playoff/finals numbers and he simply doesn't take it to another level. The players around him did; Pau (virtually as many assits as Kobe), Fisher, Artest, and Odom all improved on their regular season stats when it mattered most. Do you remember the stats I listed for Shaquille? If you look back at the numbers, the best players play their best basketball when it matters most, but not Kobe. Consistently great. I understand that I am using numbers to skew the perspective, like most analysts do, and there is no denying that Kobe passes the eye test because he is amazing. But there is a laundry list of players over the course of history that I would take over Kobe Bryant based on numbers alone. And it's impossible to quantify the effect that his ego and shot selection have had on the psyche of his teammates.
Which brings me to this year. I got into a heated discussion with one of these bandwagon Kobe/Laker fans because I said that he doesn't know how to play with superstars anymore. Pau and Bynum are not superstars, they are all-stars. They are great players who blended well with Kobe because they didn't have the egos of superstars, but Kobe has always been a lone wolf so they were good fits. He struggled doing it with Shaq, and without Phil there to check his ego, I knew that this season was headed for trouble. I had no idea it would be this bad (imagine my delight) but I am in no way surprised. Firing Brown was mistake number one, Hiring D'Antoni was mistake number two, but thinking that Kobe would all of the sudden become a selfless teammate was what started it all. The Nash/Pau/Dwight combination alone would be enough to make this a playoff team, but Kobe has to be Kobe. Screw team basketball, he has to get his 30 a game and those other bums can fend for themselves. He needs to learn to be a more efficient scorer, but it's too late for that. I knew that this double digit assist thing was a mirage because he doesn't trust anyone but himself. This last debacle with throwing another teammate under the bus is the icing on the cake for me. I'm not going to sit back and pretend like this chump is above the game. It feels so similar to me since an old favorite of mine did the same thing in regards to football, and it invokes the same feeling of disdain in me for the disrespect of players past, current, and those to come. No one is above the game, and I am relishing the way his career is beginning to unravel similar to that of the aforementioned dickhead. I appreciate sports and players for who they really are, so I can admit that they are great players but can also see that they always put themselves first. Those are not people who I would want on my team.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Trust me
Are we learning anything yet? Probably not, because most people are only looking for mindless entertainment rather than education, hence the success of the Big Bang Theory and the Kardashians. That won't stop me from trying to accomplish both, so don't be intimidated by big words. Did you know that as a journalist, I'm supposed to tailor my vocabulary to that of a 5th grader for you people? Don't worry, I think more highly of you than that so I'll just be myself. I'm feeling pretty guilty about not putting a Super Bowl prediction up, especially since I ended up nailing it... But you're going to have to trust me on that one.
Like most people, I am unable to see anything objectively and let emotions run my life. That is why I chose the Ravens to beat the 9ers in a shootout (I prefer 9ers because it reminds me of Tommy Boy... Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?). I find myself sympathizing with John Harbaugh for a number of reasons. For starters, Jim is sooooo unlikeabaughl! Speaking from experience as someone who thinks he is better than everybody else, he needs to do a better job of masking it. You have no idea how little I think of you, and I pride myself on that (e.g.- lying to you in paragraph 1, you 5th grade reader). A San Francisco fan rationalized this to me by saying that the legendary Bill Belicheck is also unlikeable, so he's fine with it. The difference is that Belly is incapable of being liked because he is a robot void of all emotions, plus he wears sweatshirts with no sleeves. Anyone else confused by that? I mean, it would be one thing if he was showing off his guns but he just seems to be making a mockery of everything that us humans consider holy. Jim was clearly daddy's favorite and has a sense of entitlement because he was the star athlete of the family while big brother had to get by on lesser talents, like intelligence. Why is it that John is always praising his brother's coaching skills, saying that Jim is the best coach in the league? I'm not denying Jim's coaching skills, because he clearly is a genius when it comes to football and San Francisco will be a force to be reckoned with for years to come. But would it be so hard to give credit where credit is due? John has been a stud coach from day one, but I doubt you'll hear that come from Jim's mouth. As a side note, it's unfortunate when the main story coming from the Super Bowl are the coaches. It's a good thing that the blackout swung the momentum completely, because this was shaping up to be one of the worst Super Bowls of all time. Was anyone else thinking that somewhere in New Orleans, Brad Pitt and George Clooney were pulling off some huge heist thanks to Don Cheadle sending an EMP through the stadium? Also, I don't want to hear about the holding call at the end of the game. The referees were consistently letting them play, and I loved it. The physicality was unlike anything I had ever seen. How about the late hit on Flacco? Or the re-routing of Torrie Smith on what could have been a touchdown on the second drive? It was consistent, so shut up. I'm glad the Ray Ray got to go out on top, because he is the greatest middle linebacker the game has ever seen and is an all-time great competitor. If you're looking to professional athletes to be role models, than you are too stupid to emulate anything that a true role model should portray. The only thing you should learn from professional athletes are that even if you are the most talented individual in the world, you still have to work harder than everyone else if you want to be the best. I mean if you're not using deer antler extract, then you're not trying hard enough. Jamarcus Russel could throw the ball 8,000 yards from his knees! Did anyone wonder how he developed that talent? Too lazy to stand and throw? Or maybe because it's easier to have someone shove cheeseburgers from the kitchen table into your mouth if you're on your knees. He wasn't willing to put in the work.
Much has been made of Brat Farve and Aaron Rodgers' handshake. I personally think that Benedict Brit thought that he was in the picture by himself and Rodgers was going for one of his patented photobombs. It was strange seeing them together, almost polar opposites. One is a class act, the other is an ass hat. One put the team on his back and carried a mediocre defense to a Super Bowl win, the other depended on Reggie White, Desmond Howard, and the number one defense in the league to help overcome his mistakes. One is a Super Bowl MVP, the other thinks he has the most valuable penis and is one of the few athletes ever to get tattled on for trying to be unfaithful to his wife. Does everyone remember her? Let me enlighten you. At age 20, Deanna became pregnant and gave birth to Farv's daughter Brittany. As a single mother, she put herself through college while working various jobs. Deanna said that ass hat often ignored her and Brittany, and she described him as "loud, rough, and often hateful" but attributed it to his painkiller addiction. Deanna said she considered leaving dickhead but worried that his addiction might become worse if she left. During his recovery, Brat proposed to Deanna. She questioned it at first, but agreed when ass hat went to get a marriage license and told her that she needed to come in and sign it. Heartwarming, isn't it? After being diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 35, she became a leading activist in the fight against the disease. And then he showed Jen Sterger his penis. What a surprise that Brat was surrounded by Vikings at the NFL award ceremony! He simply was not given enough time in Minnesota to alienate himself from all of his teammates and fans... trust me on that one.
A quick note on the robot that is Bill Belicheck-- he's overrated. Let's see how he fares without Marsha Brady, because he wasn't much before he lucked into perhaps the best quarterback of all time. His lack of emotions have been the reason for his success as a GM, because he lacks something that most people have: Loyalty. He has never been loyal to anyone not named Marsha. He will trade anyone at the drop of a dime, and his strategy is simple and has worked for years. Trade for draft picks who can't negotiate contracts and handicap your salary cap. Players who gave everything for him were gone at the drop of a dime. Do we remember how this Wes Welker debacle went down? Troy Brown played offense and defense for Super Bowl teams and was cut out of the blue. Brady has been the only thing keeping that team afloat. Plus they cheated, which didn't hurt either.
At the expense of being labeled a prisoner of the moment, I think you can easily put Flacco in the top 5 qb's in the league. He is being compared to Eli, which is not something anyone should ever have to put up with. You're only as good as your last game, right? We saw Rodgers elevate his game to a ridiculous level during the playoff run, and the confidence he gained from that run carried over to the next season when he had arguably the greatest regular season of any quarterback ever. Don't be surprised to see Flacco have a monster year next year.
There are a few basketball related predictions that I nailed that I also feel I should take credit for. Now for the record, I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong because it means that I am one step closer in my quest to know everything. It's just that I have a hard time remembering those occasions... the brain is funny like that. The first was James Harden. I predicted that he would be a first-team all NBA this year. That basically means that he is the best shooting guard in the league. Fortunately this is different than the All-Star game where fans can choose, because fans know nothing. I'm pretty sure Yao Ming is still the starting center for the west. Kobe and D Wade have had more accomplished careers and are better at their respective skills, but Harden overall is better right now. Put Harden on the Lakers and that team is well over .500. People have irrational loyalty to their favorite players and can't see things objectively, but I can because I love Harden. Wade is the better defender, Kobe is better at fadeaways, but there is nothing that Harden can't do on offense and is well above average on defense. I may end up being wrong because if the Lakers make the playoffs, Kobe may end up getting grandfathered in (pun intended) because he learned how to play team basketball. It's always impressive when an old dog learns new tricks. But Harden is still better, and deserves to be recognized as the best shooting guard in the league.
The second prediction was that the Warriors were going to be great this year. I only had to take one look at their roster after the draft to see that they are too talented to be bad. If I've learned anything from the Spurs, it's that depth and teamwork will always translate to success. Every one of the warriors bench players could start, and most have started, on other teams. Every draft pick was a major hit. They lost Brandon Rush for the season, who was finally coming into his own early this year with a heavy dose of confidence, and they still are one of the deepest teams in the league. Every player in their starting lineup is a willing passer who can shoot. They truly are a younger version of the Spurs. They've done all of this without Bogut, one of the best centers in the league (and another willing passer). I had no idea Mark Jackson would be so successful as a coach so soon, but he has them buying into whatever he's selling. They are one of the up-and-coming teams in the league and will be around for years to come. All of my said predictions can be verified by those within my social circles. I promise I will be more forthright about putting them in the posts so that you can squeal with delight if I happen to get something wrong... starting next time. Trust me.
Like most people, I am unable to see anything objectively and let emotions run my life. That is why I chose the Ravens to beat the 9ers in a shootout (I prefer 9ers because it reminds me of Tommy Boy... Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?). I find myself sympathizing with John Harbaugh for a number of reasons. For starters, Jim is sooooo unlikeabaughl! Speaking from experience as someone who thinks he is better than everybody else, he needs to do a better job of masking it. You have no idea how little I think of you, and I pride myself on that (e.g.- lying to you in paragraph 1, you 5th grade reader). A San Francisco fan rationalized this to me by saying that the legendary Bill Belicheck is also unlikeable, so he's fine with it. The difference is that Belly is incapable of being liked because he is a robot void of all emotions, plus he wears sweatshirts with no sleeves. Anyone else confused by that? I mean, it would be one thing if he was showing off his guns but he just seems to be making a mockery of everything that us humans consider holy. Jim was clearly daddy's favorite and has a sense of entitlement because he was the star athlete of the family while big brother had to get by on lesser talents, like intelligence. Why is it that John is always praising his brother's coaching skills, saying that Jim is the best coach in the league? I'm not denying Jim's coaching skills, because he clearly is a genius when it comes to football and San Francisco will be a force to be reckoned with for years to come. But would it be so hard to give credit where credit is due? John has been a stud coach from day one, but I doubt you'll hear that come from Jim's mouth. As a side note, it's unfortunate when the main story coming from the Super Bowl are the coaches. It's a good thing that the blackout swung the momentum completely, because this was shaping up to be one of the worst Super Bowls of all time. Was anyone else thinking that somewhere in New Orleans, Brad Pitt and George Clooney were pulling off some huge heist thanks to Don Cheadle sending an EMP through the stadium? Also, I don't want to hear about the holding call at the end of the game. The referees were consistently letting them play, and I loved it. The physicality was unlike anything I had ever seen. How about the late hit on Flacco? Or the re-routing of Torrie Smith on what could have been a touchdown on the second drive? It was consistent, so shut up. I'm glad the Ray Ray got to go out on top, because he is the greatest middle linebacker the game has ever seen and is an all-time great competitor. If you're looking to professional athletes to be role models, than you are too stupid to emulate anything that a true role model should portray. The only thing you should learn from professional athletes are that even if you are the most talented individual in the world, you still have to work harder than everyone else if you want to be the best. I mean if you're not using deer antler extract, then you're not trying hard enough. Jamarcus Russel could throw the ball 8,000 yards from his knees! Did anyone wonder how he developed that talent? Too lazy to stand and throw? Or maybe because it's easier to have someone shove cheeseburgers from the kitchen table into your mouth if you're on your knees. He wasn't willing to put in the work.
Much has been made of Brat Farve and Aaron Rodgers' handshake. I personally think that Benedict Brit thought that he was in the picture by himself and Rodgers was going for one of his patented photobombs. It was strange seeing them together, almost polar opposites. One is a class act, the other is an ass hat. One put the team on his back and carried a mediocre defense to a Super Bowl win, the other depended on Reggie White, Desmond Howard, and the number one defense in the league to help overcome his mistakes. One is a Super Bowl MVP, the other thinks he has the most valuable penis and is one of the few athletes ever to get tattled on for trying to be unfaithful to his wife. Does everyone remember her? Let me enlighten you. At age 20, Deanna became pregnant and gave birth to Farv's daughter Brittany. As a single mother, she put herself through college while working various jobs. Deanna said that ass hat often ignored her and Brittany, and she described him as "loud, rough, and often hateful" but attributed it to his painkiller addiction. Deanna said she considered leaving dickhead but worried that his addiction might become worse if she left. During his recovery, Brat proposed to Deanna. She questioned it at first, but agreed when ass hat went to get a marriage license and told her that she needed to come in and sign it. Heartwarming, isn't it? After being diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 35, she became a leading activist in the fight against the disease. And then he showed Jen Sterger his penis. What a surprise that Brat was surrounded by Vikings at the NFL award ceremony! He simply was not given enough time in Minnesota to alienate himself from all of his teammates and fans... trust me on that one.
A quick note on the robot that is Bill Belicheck-- he's overrated. Let's see how he fares without Marsha Brady, because he wasn't much before he lucked into perhaps the best quarterback of all time. His lack of emotions have been the reason for his success as a GM, because he lacks something that most people have: Loyalty. He has never been loyal to anyone not named Marsha. He will trade anyone at the drop of a dime, and his strategy is simple and has worked for years. Trade for draft picks who can't negotiate contracts and handicap your salary cap. Players who gave everything for him were gone at the drop of a dime. Do we remember how this Wes Welker debacle went down? Troy Brown played offense and defense for Super Bowl teams and was cut out of the blue. Brady has been the only thing keeping that team afloat. Plus they cheated, which didn't hurt either.
At the expense of being labeled a prisoner of the moment, I think you can easily put Flacco in the top 5 qb's in the league. He is being compared to Eli, which is not something anyone should ever have to put up with. You're only as good as your last game, right? We saw Rodgers elevate his game to a ridiculous level during the playoff run, and the confidence he gained from that run carried over to the next season when he had arguably the greatest regular season of any quarterback ever. Don't be surprised to see Flacco have a monster year next year.
There are a few basketball related predictions that I nailed that I also feel I should take credit for. Now for the record, I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong because it means that I am one step closer in my quest to know everything. It's just that I have a hard time remembering those occasions... the brain is funny like that. The first was James Harden. I predicted that he would be a first-team all NBA this year. That basically means that he is the best shooting guard in the league. Fortunately this is different than the All-Star game where fans can choose, because fans know nothing. I'm pretty sure Yao Ming is still the starting center for the west. Kobe and D Wade have had more accomplished careers and are better at their respective skills, but Harden overall is better right now. Put Harden on the Lakers and that team is well over .500. People have irrational loyalty to their favorite players and can't see things objectively, but I can because I love Harden. Wade is the better defender, Kobe is better at fadeaways, but there is nothing that Harden can't do on offense and is well above average on defense. I may end up being wrong because if the Lakers make the playoffs, Kobe may end up getting grandfathered in (pun intended) because he learned how to play team basketball. It's always impressive when an old dog learns new tricks. But Harden is still better, and deserves to be recognized as the best shooting guard in the league.
The second prediction was that the Warriors were going to be great this year. I only had to take one look at their roster after the draft to see that they are too talented to be bad. If I've learned anything from the Spurs, it's that depth and teamwork will always translate to success. Every one of the warriors bench players could start, and most have started, on other teams. Every draft pick was a major hit. They lost Brandon Rush for the season, who was finally coming into his own early this year with a heavy dose of confidence, and they still are one of the deepest teams in the league. Every player in their starting lineup is a willing passer who can shoot. They truly are a younger version of the Spurs. They've done all of this without Bogut, one of the best centers in the league (and another willing passer). I had no idea Mark Jackson would be so successful as a coach so soon, but he has them buying into whatever he's selling. They are one of the up-and-coming teams in the league and will be around for years to come. All of my said predictions can be verified by those within my social circles. I promise I will be more forthright about putting them in the posts so that you can squeal with delight if I happen to get something wrong... starting next time. Trust me.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Don't get used to this
I know, I spoil you. I am in no way setting the precedent of dropping knowledge on you every two days but I am gathering a following comparable to that Footloose guy's rival in the epic new series on Fox. Needless to say, women are stabbing themselves in the eye because they need more.
I'll start with why buying jerseys is always a terrible idea. Unless it's a really small one that you claim you had as a kid but you secretly just bought to make your muscles look huge. Greg Jennings just put his Wisconsin house on the market, so obviously he's planning on upgrading to something across the street from Lambeau to shorten his commute. I think most Packer fans understood that he was expendable when Cobb dominated the slot and James Jones sprouted some hands this year. Jer will be the other threat (in theory) over the middle, and that's all the Pack need. Jennings is most effective going over the middle, although my fondest memory of Gregory will always be the overtime game in Denver when Brent threw the bomb down the sidelines to win it. There's much talk that he will end up in purple, which would make sense because it would be a terrible fit. Percy Harvin is essentially Randall Cobb. Jennings and Harvin are both beasts in the slot who should not be lining up outside. Add Rudolph (monster) to the mix and the middle of the field is clogged. Now factor in the that the Vikings' best quarterback, Adrian Peterson, will be gashing teams up the middle and we have a mosh pit on our hands. I'm curious to see if Jennings respects the game enough to not sign with a division rival. I think most people know how I feel about Benedict Brit's decision to go purp. Viking fans and devoted Farve fans can try and justify it all they want, but I think that his actions are pretty indicative of a selfish, egotistical douche. That's not open for debate.
Since we're talking about the Packers, I'll tell you why I'm not too concerned about losing a stud like Jennings: The offense was never our problem. I'm not sure how Dom Capers has completely escaped criticism over the past couple years. Does he get a pass because a sub-par defense did just enough to not blow Aaron's historic and single-handed Super Bowl run? There have been injuries, but the defense has been inexcusably gashed when it counts. I think most of us thought that when Woodson and Matthews came back, that they would magically go back to allowing 800 yards a game but forcing that crucial turnover down the stretch. How do people justify the bend-but-don't-break defensive strategy? "I've got it, it's so simple... We lull teams into a false sense of security by not trying and letting them march up and down the field but when the game is on the line, we let them throw an interception or fumble it into Clay's waiting arms!"
Kobe Bryant has recently revolutionized basketball by discovering the secret to beating double and triple teams-- step back, contested three pointers! Making 25 percent of these makes him unguardable... Actually after what has seemed like years of hearing about the Lakers' inability to play defense, offense, and tic-tac-toe without a soundbite from Kobe, they seem to have turned a corner. Kobe has apparently decided to trust this rag-tag group of bums that they have surrounded his greatness with. I mean, when the best shooter of all time's defender leaves him to double Kobe on the baseline, most players are taught to pivot out of bounds and shoot a fade-away shot over the backboard... so naturally it has taken some adjustment. And when Kobe turns the corner and the best finisher in the game's defender comes to contest, everyone's AAU coach teaches them to rise up over that chump so you can get the three-point play and a spot in ESPN's top ten. Don't get me started on Pau, why can't that pussy just put on his big boy pants and play through planter-faciatis and tendonitis in both knees? Is it sad that I am surprised that he realized he could actually try passing out of a triple team? And now he's being branded as a modern Magic Johnson because he tried passing for two games... Get real.
I am grateful for the Kardashians because they have exposed the masses for the idiots that they truly are. I'm not saying you are stupid for watching the show (it goes without saying) but it has been interesting to see the reaction to Kris Humphries. I recently went to watch the Timberwolves play the Brooklyn Nets, and I found it amusing that Kris, the Minnesota native, was viciously booed without mercy. Did it really take a useless show to expose a professional athlete as stupid, self-centered, rude, and basically possessing every undesirable quality a person could have? SHOCKER! These people stopped learning as freshman in high school when they realized that school is for suckers. They don't need social skills, they are worshiped by homies and chickenheads. It is the sole reason why I will never have a twitter, I don't need to know the level of stupidity of these morons who make more money while raping some girl at a night club than I will make in my lifetime. I try to live in blissful ignorance keeping in mind that they are gladiators who destroy their bodies for our amusement and are rewarded handsomely for it. At least we can take comfort in the fact that football players will likely kill themselves from the devastating brain injuries that they suffer on a week to week basis.
Not that I know anything about hockey, but I have a message to Minnesota Wild fans... RELAX! 6 games in and I hear so called experts talking about being at a point of desperation. There is a universal truth about sports... when you bring in a bunch of elite talent with egos to boot, it takes time to mesh. We saw what happened with the Eagles, and they simply were not given the time or coaching to gel. Do people remember the beginning of the big 2's adventure in Miami? It was rocky to say the least. But I guess that's a bad example because they didn't even win the championship in their first year. Teams trying to incorporate new all-stars are at the biggest disadvantage from a lockout-shortened season because of the lack of training camp. Have some patience.
Since I'm slamming Minnesota fans, I have something else for you: The Gophers are bad at basketball. First off, Tubby is overrated. He won a championship in his first year in Kentucky, with all of Rick Pitino's recruits, and has done nothing since. Second, the team has elite talent in Rodney Williams and Mbakwe but they can't create their own offense. The backcourt can score, but are not true point guards who can get players the ball where they need it and if that is the case, then it is up to the coach to design an offense to do it for them. Not going to happen, the Big 10 is too deep and they are likely to be NIT bound again.
Try not to harm yourself until my next post. Sorry if this was a little more harsh than the last one, but such is the world in which we live. PEACE AND LOVE!
I'll start with why buying jerseys is always a terrible idea. Unless it's a really small one that you claim you had as a kid but you secretly just bought to make your muscles look huge. Greg Jennings just put his Wisconsin house on the market, so obviously he's planning on upgrading to something across the street from Lambeau to shorten his commute. I think most Packer fans understood that he was expendable when Cobb dominated the slot and James Jones sprouted some hands this year. Jer will be the other threat (in theory) over the middle, and that's all the Pack need. Jennings is most effective going over the middle, although my fondest memory of Gregory will always be the overtime game in Denver when Brent threw the bomb down the sidelines to win it. There's much talk that he will end up in purple, which would make sense because it would be a terrible fit. Percy Harvin is essentially Randall Cobb. Jennings and Harvin are both beasts in the slot who should not be lining up outside. Add Rudolph (monster) to the mix and the middle of the field is clogged. Now factor in the that the Vikings' best quarterback, Adrian Peterson, will be gashing teams up the middle and we have a mosh pit on our hands. I'm curious to see if Jennings respects the game enough to not sign with a division rival. I think most people know how I feel about Benedict Brit's decision to go purp. Viking fans and devoted Farve fans can try and justify it all they want, but I think that his actions are pretty indicative of a selfish, egotistical douche. That's not open for debate.
Since we're talking about the Packers, I'll tell you why I'm not too concerned about losing a stud like Jennings: The offense was never our problem. I'm not sure how Dom Capers has completely escaped criticism over the past couple years. Does he get a pass because a sub-par defense did just enough to not blow Aaron's historic and single-handed Super Bowl run? There have been injuries, but the defense has been inexcusably gashed when it counts. I think most of us thought that when Woodson and Matthews came back, that they would magically go back to allowing 800 yards a game but forcing that crucial turnover down the stretch. How do people justify the bend-but-don't-break defensive strategy? "I've got it, it's so simple... We lull teams into a false sense of security by not trying and letting them march up and down the field but when the game is on the line, we let them throw an interception or fumble it into Clay's waiting arms!"
Kobe Bryant has recently revolutionized basketball by discovering the secret to beating double and triple teams-- step back, contested three pointers! Making 25 percent of these makes him unguardable... Actually after what has seemed like years of hearing about the Lakers' inability to play defense, offense, and tic-tac-toe without a soundbite from Kobe, they seem to have turned a corner. Kobe has apparently decided to trust this rag-tag group of bums that they have surrounded his greatness with. I mean, when the best shooter of all time's defender leaves him to double Kobe on the baseline, most players are taught to pivot out of bounds and shoot a fade-away shot over the backboard... so naturally it has taken some adjustment. And when Kobe turns the corner and the best finisher in the game's defender comes to contest, everyone's AAU coach teaches them to rise up over that chump so you can get the three-point play and a spot in ESPN's top ten. Don't get me started on Pau, why can't that pussy just put on his big boy pants and play through planter-faciatis and tendonitis in both knees? Is it sad that I am surprised that he realized he could actually try passing out of a triple team? And now he's being branded as a modern Magic Johnson because he tried passing for two games... Get real.
I am grateful for the Kardashians because they have exposed the masses for the idiots that they truly are. I'm not saying you are stupid for watching the show (it goes without saying) but it has been interesting to see the reaction to Kris Humphries. I recently went to watch the Timberwolves play the Brooklyn Nets, and I found it amusing that Kris, the Minnesota native, was viciously booed without mercy. Did it really take a useless show to expose a professional athlete as stupid, self-centered, rude, and basically possessing every undesirable quality a person could have? SHOCKER! These people stopped learning as freshman in high school when they realized that school is for suckers. They don't need social skills, they are worshiped by homies and chickenheads. It is the sole reason why I will never have a twitter, I don't need to know the level of stupidity of these morons who make more money while raping some girl at a night club than I will make in my lifetime. I try to live in blissful ignorance keeping in mind that they are gladiators who destroy their bodies for our amusement and are rewarded handsomely for it. At least we can take comfort in the fact that football players will likely kill themselves from the devastating brain injuries that they suffer on a week to week basis.
Not that I know anything about hockey, but I have a message to Minnesota Wild fans... RELAX! 6 games in and I hear so called experts talking about being at a point of desperation. There is a universal truth about sports... when you bring in a bunch of elite talent with egos to boot, it takes time to mesh. We saw what happened with the Eagles, and they simply were not given the time or coaching to gel. Do people remember the beginning of the big 2's adventure in Miami? It was rocky to say the least. But I guess that's a bad example because they didn't even win the championship in their first year. Teams trying to incorporate new all-stars are at the biggest disadvantage from a lockout-shortened season because of the lack of training camp. Have some patience.
Since I'm slamming Minnesota fans, I have something else for you: The Gophers are bad at basketball. First off, Tubby is overrated. He won a championship in his first year in Kentucky, with all of Rick Pitino's recruits, and has done nothing since. Second, the team has elite talent in Rodney Williams and Mbakwe but they can't create their own offense. The backcourt can score, but are not true point guards who can get players the ball where they need it and if that is the case, then it is up to the coach to design an offense to do it for them. Not going to happen, the Big 10 is too deep and they are likely to be NIT bound again.
Try not to harm yourself until my next post. Sorry if this was a little more harsh than the last one, but such is the world in which we live. PEACE AND LOVE!
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